


Personal Space

by PetrichorPerfume



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Cas shows up in a sheet, Castiel (Supernatural) and Bees, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Crack, Dancing, Dean is Not Amused, Dean is happy to see Castiel, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Masturbation, Not so clueless Castiel, Personal Space, Sam Is So Done, Sam is a liar, Sexual Frustration, Sick Dean Winchester, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 17:07:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11063385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: In which Castiel needs to learn the concept of personal space, Sam is fed up with dealing with Dean's angel, and Dean regrets not running away when Cas decides to play doctor.





	Personal Space

**Author's Note:**

> Mostly just crack.

“Cas, we’ve talked about this. Personal space,” Dean choked out as Cas fluttered into existence a few inches away.

 

Cas made a noise Dean couldn’t interpret and fixed his gaze upon a freckle on Dean’s neck. “I don’t understand,” he said softly. “Why do you always object to my presence?”

 

Dean closed his eyes with a sigh. “I don’t- I mean... Why don’t you bother Sam with this shit?” He asked, stepping away.

 

The angel made another noise Dean didn’t care to read into and fluttered away. Dean groaned and glared at the space his angel had just occupied.

 

***

 

Sam jumped when Castiel appeared beside him in the library, and looked around to see if anyone had seen his sudden arrival. He made a face but didn’t say anything as the angel sat down beside him.

 

“Sam, I have a question and I’ve been told that you can help.” Castiel said, picking up one of the books on the table and flipping through it absently.

 

“Sure, go ahead.”

 

Castiel was silent for a long moment. “What is ‘personal space?’ I am familiar with the definition, but I lack context. Why is it wrong to step into the ‘space’ of someone you care deeply about?”

 

“Well, if you’re close to someone, that’s generally the one time it is acceptable to move into someone else’s personal space,” Sam answered, wondering what Dean had gotten himself into this time and why it was always his turn to explain things to the hapless angel.

 

“I don’t understand. If you are already in close proximity to another, why would you move nearer to them?”

 

Sam closed his book. “By ‘close,’ I mean... Intimate,” he said, trying and failing to find a better word.

 

Cas tilted his head. “Intimate... In what way?”

 

Sam blushed. “Do I really need to explain this? Why don’t you go ask Dean?”

 

“I tried. He told me to ask you.”

 

Glancing around to see if the other patrons of the library were looking at them strangely, he began with, “Well, when two people love each other very much...” Then burst out laughing. No one had been looking at them prior to that, but now they’d attracted quite a few not-so-friendly glares.

 

“I fail to see what is so funny,” Cas said, confusion furrowing his brow.

 

“Sorry, sorry,” Sam said as his laughter died down. “So, when two people love each other very much, they want to be close to each other. To do a bit of dancing in the sheets, if you know what I mean.” Sam smiled, satisfied with his explanation.

 

“I think I understand. Thank you, Sam,” Castiel replied with the utmost seriousness. Then he was gone, leaving more than a few library patrons to wonder about their eyesight.

 

“This can’t end well,” Sam sighed.

 

***

 

Dean was just about to fall asleep when Castiel materialized in his usual attire, minus the Trenchcoat, which had been replaced by a white motel sheet. “Dean,” Castiel greeted. “Would you like to dance?”

 

“What the Hell?” Dean asked, prying himself out of bed and going to inspect his angel. “Who are you, the Ghost of Christmas Past?”

 

“I don’t understand that reference.”

 

“Are you actually wearing a sheet?” Dean continued, largely ignoring Castiel’s confusion.

 

“Sam explained everything to me,” Castiel answered, smiling.

 

“Apparently he didn’t do a very good job,” Dean muttered.

 

“No, I believe I understand now,” Castiel said, nodding decisively. His eyes rose skyward and he frowned. “I am needed elsewhere,” he sighed, and fluttered away.

 

“This can’t end well,” Dean concluded, before lying back down and trying to go to sleep.

 

***

 

Dean was thoroughly enjoying the motel’s pay-per-view and considering doing something about it when Castiel showed up a week later, on top of him.

 

“Hello, Dean,” he said in greeting.

 

Dean was too surprised to curse and too embarrassed to speak, so he just turned away with a groan.

 

“I believe that your gun is poking me,” Castiel said, shifting a little bit.

 

Dean bit back a moan. “No, Cas, I’m just really happy to see you.”

 

“I’m glad,” Castiel said, wriggling around.

 

“Cas?”

 

“Yes, Dean?”

 

“Get off of me.”

 

***

 

Cas showed up again the next day. Sam was standing at the foot of Dean’s bed explaining their new case and Dean was on his bed cleaning his guns.

 

“Hello, Sam, are you happy to see me?” Cas asked. Dean narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything.

 

“Uh, yeah, I suppose, it’s always nice to have you ar-” Sam stopped short when Castiel swept him into a hug.

 

“That’s strange,” Cas said, and Dean made a choked off noise when he saw Castiel’s ‘I’m about to say something embarrassing’ face.

 

“Oh my God, I am so hungry, is anyone else hungry? Let’s go get burgers, Cas,” Dean said, not waiting for a reply before pulling Cas out of the motel room and slamming the door behind him.

 

“I believe that Sam was lying,” Castiel said thoughtfully. “Although I do not see a clear motive. I should go ask him about it.”

 

Dean flung his hand out to stop the angel. “No,” he all but shouted. “Absolutely not. Sam is... He’s a great kid and all, but he lies. A lot. Believe me.”

 

“Of course, Dean,” Castiel said. “If you wait here I’ll get you those burgers you liked from a few states over.”

 

“Cas, that’s not-” but Cas was gone before he could finish. “Necessary,” he concluded, rolling his eyes as Castiel popped up beside him several moments later.

 

When they returned to the motel room, Sam raised an eyebrow but was otherwise mercifully silent.

 

“Lying is a sin, Sam,” Castiel announced as he bit into his burger.

 

Dean nearly choked on a fry and Sam looked between them before deciding not to question it.

 

***

 

It became a habit of Castiel’s to pop into Dean’s room, on top of Dean, whenever Dean was alone in the motel, especially when he was about to ‘take care of business.’

 

“Cas, please,” Dean groaned, pulling his hand out of his pants when Castiel appeared on top of him for the fifth time. He was frustrated and horny and Cas hadn’t allowed him to masturbate for over two weeks.

 

“Dean, you’re very flushed. Are you ill?”

 

“No, Cas, I’m not sick. Just give me a few minutes, all right? Then we can go get something to eat or whatever.”

 

Castiel didn’t move. “No, we’re staying here, and I’m going to take care of you.”

 

“Cas, I’m not fucking sick!”

 

Cas pursed his lips. “Your heart rate and breathing are elevated, you’re flushed, and you have a slight fever. Stay here while I get you some medicine.”

 

Dean groaned as Castiel disappeared, rolling over and resigning himself to his fate. When Cas came back with no less than six different kinds of medicine, Dean sort of regretted not running away.

 

“Cas, for the last time, I’m not sick.”

 

“Dean, let me take care of you.”

 

Dean swung his legs out of bed and sighed. “I’m. Not. Sick.”

 

“Get back into bed.”

 

Dean stood up. Cas tsked and pressed two fingers to Dean’s forehead. Dean fell back into bed, woozy. “Cas, what the fuck? Did you drug me?”

 

“I gave you a slight sedative. It will help you sleep once you’ve taken all of your medicine.”

 

“Cas-” He was about to insist he wasn’t sick, but instead he opted for a different tact. “Please go get Sam. He’ll know what to do.”

 

“Dean, I am perfectly capable of taking care of you myself.”

 

Dean rolled his eyes and sighed. “Fine. Let me see what you got.” He lifted out cold medicine, flu medicine, laxatives, anti-diarrhea pills, antibiotics, and topical cream for genital herpes. “Cas. I don’t have genital herpes.”

 

Castiel looked him up and down, as if assessing the validity of his claim. “I am aware of that.”

 

Dean tossed the cream to the other side of the room. “Won’t need that, then,” he said. “Oh, and I don’t have diarrhea and I’m not constipated, so these are out,” he said, chucking the two boxes of pills behind him. “Oh, and, guess what? I’m not _sick,_ so we won’t need the rest of this either.” With that, he threw the whole bag into the corner.

 

“You’re a very stubborn patient,” Castiel said with a frown. “You need to take your medicine in order to feel better.”

 

At that moment, Sam walked in, and Dean had never been so happy to see him in his life. Well, except for the times when Sam had saved his life.

 

“Sam! Dean is sick and is refusing to take his medicine. I got him medicine for colds, flu, bacterial infections, intestinal problems, and genital herpes.”

 

Sam considered this for a moment. “I’d give him the herpes medicine first,” he replied, smirking at his brother.

 

“Sam,” Dean groaned, giving his brother his best ‘help me, please’ look.

 

Sam weighed the option of letting his brother suffer versus having Dean owe him a favor. “Cas, I’ll take care of Dean. Why don’t you go do whatever angels do instead of sleep?”

 

“Normally, I just watch over Dean.”

 

Sam seemed a little offended at the prospect, while Dean looked vaguely horrified.

 

Cas bristled. “I will leave if that’s what you desire.”

 

“Cas, that’s not-” Dean began, but the angel was already gone.

 

Dean could see Sam’s bitch-face without looking, so he threw the spare pillow at his brother. “Not a word, bitch,” he growled.

 

“Jerk.”

 

***

 

Dean was attempting to have a quickie in the shower the next morning when Cas showed up, plastered to his side. Dean turned around quickly and slammed his hand against the wall. “Damn it, Cas.”

 

“I see you’re feeling better.”

 

“I was never sick.”

 

Cas made an amused little sound against his neck and Dean turned his head so he could see his dripping wet angel.

 

“Cas, could you give me a minute?”

 

“I want to help you wash.”

 

“No, just... No. You don’t- I can’t.”

 

Cas gently pried the soap from Dean’s hands. “It’s okay,” he assured Dean. “Let me help.”

 

Dean made a helpless little sound as Cas began to wash his back. “Cas, don’t,” he begged.

 

“What’s wrong, Dean?”

 

“Please, Cas,” Dean said gently, not daring to turn around.

 

“What do you need, Dean? If it’s within my power, I’ll give it to you.”

 

“Just let me shower in peace,” he managed to choke out.

 

“I want to help,” Castiel insisted, running the bar of soap over Dean’s lower back.

 

Dean made a strangled sound.

 

“Does that hurt?” Dean shook his head. “Do you want me to stop?” Dean hesitated before nodding. And just like that, the angel was gone. Dean slammed his hand against the grimy wall again before rinsing and drying.

 

“Damn it, Cas,” he whispered to himself.

 

***

 

Sam was in the library – a different one, this time – when Castiel decided to visit him again.

 

“What does it mean when a human has elevated heart-rate and breathing?”

 

“It can mean a lot of things,” Sam replied. “You have to give me the context.”

 

“Well, the first eight times, Dean was in his bed, and the last time, he was in the shower.”

 

Sam made a strangled noise. “We are not having this conversation,” he said firmly. “Wait here.”

 

A few minutes later, Sam came back with a book called “The Birds and the Bees.” He slammed it down in front of Cas. “Read it. If you have any questions, ask Dean.”

 

“I am quite fond of bees,” Castiel mused. “But I already know everything there is to know about them. I don’t see how this book will do much good.”

 

“Read it,” Sam said, before gathering his books and moving to another table.

 

Castiel complied, finishing the book within a matter of seconds. “Oh,” he said, frowning as he put it down. Sam was glaring at him from the safety of the furthest table. He left in a flurry of wing beats.

 

***

 

That night, Sam insisted on getting separate rooms. Dean made the mistake of asking him why.

 

“Why? Why? _Why?_ Because I am tired of dealing with _your_ angel, that’s _why,_ ” he spat.

 

Dean shrugged and didn’t think anything of it.

 

***

 

That night, Cas didn’t show up, on top of him, as always, until Dean was about five seconds away from shooting his load.

 

“Cas,” he moaned, ready to shout from frustration. “Please give me a minute. Literally, a minute. Please.”

 

“Pleasuring yourself is a sin,” Castiel observed.

 

“So is drinking. You don’t see that stopping me. Now get off of me so I can finish!”

 

“Let me help,” Cas said.

 

Dean groaned at the thought. “Isn’t pre-marital sex a sin?”

 

“Yes, but that doesn’t apply to us.”

 

“What? ‘Cause we’re both guys? Last time I checked, that was a sin, too.”

 

“No, that part was added by man. It says nothing about homosexual relations in my Father’s Book. In fact, the Book encourages love.”

 

“Fascinating. Now go away.”

 

“In case you’re curious, pre-marital sex is considered a sin, but we wouldn’t have to worry because we’re already married.”

 

Dean actually laughed at the absurdity that. “We’re not married, Cas.”

 

“When an angel falls for a human, because of a human, they are considered married in the eyes of the Lord.”

 

“You couldn’t have told me that sooner? Normally when two people get married, they _both_ agree to it.”

 

“It was not of import.”

 

“Really? Because from where I’m standing, it is very _much_ of import.”

 

“It didn’t seem relevant at the time. I love you, and you love me.”

 

“You... You love me?”

 

“I thought it seemed fairly obvious. I’ve been to Hell for you. I’ve died for you. I... I thought you knew how much you meant to me.”

 

“Cas, I...” Dean was at a loss for words. “I wish you’d told me sooner,” he settled on, lamely.

 

“Don’t worry, Dean. I will remind you of my love for you more often from now on.”

 

“Cas? How long have we been married?”

 

“About a year?”

 

Dean bit his lip and counted to ten. “And you never _once_ thought of telling me?”

 

“It did not seem-”

 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Next time you think something isn’t ‘of import,’ how about you tell me first and let me decide, okay?”

 

“Yes, Dean.”

 

Dean sighed. “Come here, angel,” he said, rolling them both onto their sides and cradling his angel in his arms.

 

“Don’t you want my assistance anymore?”

 

Dean laughed. “Surprise marriage is a little bit of a mood killer,” he said playfully.

 

“You don’t mind?” Cas asked, suddenly shy.

 

“Nope. It’s nice, I guess. I... I lo-” Dean choked on the words.

 

“It’s all right, Dean. You don’t have to say them until you’re ready. I already know how you feel. I know you inside and out.”

 

Dean closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Castiel’s.

 

“Sleep, now, Dean. I’ll watch over you.”

 

***

 

“Cas and I are married now,” Dean announced when his brother slid into the car.

 

Sam gave him bitch-face Model 7A. “You have sex one time and you ask the guy to marry you? What the hell, Dean?”

 

“It’s not like that,” Dean said. “First of all, we didn’t... You know.”

 

“Have sex?”

 

“Yeah, that, and we’ve been married for a year.”

 

“And you never _told_ me? I’m your brother, dude!”

 

“Don’t give me that look, Sammy. I just found out yesterday. Trust me, you’re the first to know.”

 

***

 

“Sam helped me figure a lot of it out,” Cas said thoughtfully as he pushed his food around on his plate.

 

Dean shot his brother a look that was a cross between grateful and pissed. “Yeah, like what?”

 

“Well, he helped me figure out I was in love with you. That was a while ago. He taught me all about personal space – that was last month – and then he taught me about the ‘birds and the bees.’”

 

Dean choked on his food and Sam gave him a hearty pat on the back. Once he recovered, he gave Castiel a lopsided smile. “Next time, come to me first. It’ll be faster and easier for all of us.”

 

Sam gave Dean a half-hearted glare. “Jerk.”

 

“Bitch.”

 

“Assbutt.”

 


End file.
